I have spent much of this winter break thinking about who I am. Not only who I am, but where I’m going and who I’m going to be. I am still very much afraid of the future because I don’t know what is going to happen. That’s the absolute truth. I guess that this is the beauty, and ugliness, of life: No matter how much you plan, everything can still go wrong. As the saying goes, “Man plans, God laughs.” Build all of the castles you want, all it takes is one fire to burn down everything you’ve built. All it takes is one hurricane to destroy that structure you’ve built, and there is not anything you can do about it.
This has been the primary source of all of my fears. I have big plans for 2017: Getting a nice internship, overcoming my car troubles, growing dreadlocks, and of course, moving forward in my writing career. How do I accomplish these things? The simple thing to say would be “just do it.” However, it is never that simple. Usually anytime that I try to do anything, it gets blocked by someone or something. I wish I didn’t have to worry about these things, but this is what I am confronted with every single day of my life, and it is difficult to avoid.